whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
