I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
it glows. i had to have it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
