I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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