you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
