I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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