"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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