Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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