3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
where am i from again
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
