i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
