"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
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We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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