Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
