I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
