His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
