Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
