just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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