We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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