whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize