You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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