I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
