what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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