I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
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I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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