I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
