I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
