How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
