Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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