it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
