I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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