I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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