I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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