I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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