I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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