Texts From Last Night

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  (905): View more from Toronto

  I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it

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  (905): I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it http://tfl.nu/jng0
  Replies (32) Good night (4357) Bad night (1922)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore

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  (732): I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore http://tfl.nu/xlhh
  Replies (65) Good night (2157) Bad night (5051)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.

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  (630): Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening. http://tfl.nu/nbt7
  Replies (15) Good night (5439) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married

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  (773): She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win. (1-773): Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married http://tfl.nu/w32w
  Replies (19) Good night (1111) Bad night (7481)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong

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  (205): Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong http://tfl.nu/oa40
  Replies (9) Good night (5112) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided

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  (609): Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided http://tfl.nu/mbmq
  Replies (6) Good night (4875) Bad night (1726)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon

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  (416): I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon http://tfl.nu/5ghl
  Replies (23) Good night (7493) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice

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  (336): If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice http://tfl.nu/pivk
  Replies (8) Good night (3611) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!

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  (731): Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?! http://tfl.nu/umwb
  Replies (7) Good night (3883) Bad night (1186)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  my head hurts. i need an adult

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult

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  (225): my head hurts. i need an adult (225): and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult http://tfl.nu/wl1h
  Replies (4) Good night (1953) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.

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  (229): I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland. http://tfl.nu/f2v9
  Replies (17) Good night (2733) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!

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  (916): Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker! http://tfl.nu/ia91
  Replies (0) Good night (695) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.

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  (316): Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running. http://tfl.nu/b6k8
  Replies (6) Good night (867) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"

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  (626): Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!" http://tfl.nu/r9i7
  Replies (4) Good night (493) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.

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  (708): Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid (1-708): I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for. http://tfl.nu/mlt7
  Replies (1) Good night (489) Bad night (227)

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