I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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