The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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