Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
