Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
