shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
