Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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