Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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