just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he was CRYING into my vagina
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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