Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
