Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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