how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
