I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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