its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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