I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
