she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Randomize
