now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
