In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
