It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
