How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
