You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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