id be glad to
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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