i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I supernannyed him into submission
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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