I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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