i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
