Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
