"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
