im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
