This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
