Well apparently he's into motor boating.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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