Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
