she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Princesses don't give blow jobs
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
