please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
