at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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