So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
